I’ve known this day was coming for quite some time now, but to be honest, words are failing me. I thought I’d have something poignant to say. If that failed, I hoped I could offer something meaningful, heartfelt, eloquent, or poetic. Maybe even uplifting - something fit for a hero. I have none of that right now. I only feel a sense of duty to tell you about our friend Tucker.

Tucker joined our Field Expedition in 2019 as part of the Make-A-Wish program. It was his wish to be a paleontologist and dig up a dinosaur, and that’s exactly what he did. He worked hard - perhaps harder than his mom would have liked in that sun and heat - but he did it with a great big smile on his face and with such enthusiasm that it warmed and inspired everyone around him. Together with our kind friends, Colleen and Jim, we did our best to give Tucker and his beautiful family a week full of the best experiences.

What we gave him though feels maddeningly inadequate compared to what he gave us. Tucker brought a wonderful light and energy to the whole crew that week, and indeed, to the entire season. He brought us laughter (I remember sitting at the edge of the Mother’s Day Quarry with him when he told me about his “WILD!” younger brother they left back home. By the look on his face, you could tell he’d had ENOUGH!). He brought his sister and parents, all of whom instantly bonded with our crew, giving us all new friendships and memories. He and his family brought us so many reminders of what’s truly important. Lessons about strength, kindness, gratitude, and the power of hope and bravery. He reminded me that even in the face of heartbreak and overwhelming odds, you can still be a source of light and a force for good. It wasn’t just that week, and it wasn’t just us. From his mom’s updates since that summer, I know that was just Tucker. This is what he did everywhere he went, and how he affected everyone around him.

Tucker died peacefully in his sleep on Saturday, surrounded by his loving family. He was only 11. I don’t know how else to say it. I refuse to say that “he lost his battle with cancer” or adopt some other euphemism folks often use in these situations, because he didn’t lose anything. He never lost anything. Cancer stole another good, kind soul from the world before he ever had the chance to become the paleontologist he wanted to be, or a fireman, doctor, athlete, astronaut, or anything else he may have turned into. But he never lost.

Among the many things he was, Tucker was a scientist to the end, heroically participating in several experimental treatments that hopefully, one day, will help prevent this from happening to other children. Although we all lost Tucker, we’re still the beneficiaries of his light and energy. No matter how much all of this hurts - and it does, I’m heartbroken - I still feel so lucky to have known him. I’m a better person for it.

Last October, on the way back East from Montana, I made a detour to see Tucker and his family at their home, knowing he’d be excited to see our fossils again, including ones he helped excavate 2 years prior. It was wonderful to see him and I got a kick out of finally meeting the infamous “crazy little brother” (Tucker was right - that little guy is a ball of energy!). Cancer and the medicines had taken it’s toll and Tucker was clearly tired, but the spark was still there, never to be diminished. I could barely keep it together when I left, knowing the battles he still faced. The detour was long, the visit short, and leaving was tough, but even then I felt so lucky and filled with gratitude to be in his presence. To have been even a tiny part of his life.

There will be a celebration of his life sometime this summer, and I hope to be there in person. In the meantime I hope you will join me in honoring Tucker’s life now. Hug your loved ones, go seek adventure - even if it’s just in your backyard- and, no matter how hard things get, be brave and be kind.

Tucker: There is no way I could have ever repaid what you gave to me and the BBPI family, but I do hope that we brought a little bit of joy to your extraordinary life. You are missed and you are loved. Keep digging, buddy, wherever you are. The first dinosaur we find this summer has your name on it.

Love,

Jason and the BBPI family

#TuckerTough

August 2022 Update:

For Tucker